I have been helping my mother-in-law deal this week.
For her sake I won't go into great detail but I will tell you that one of her dearest friends, who was close to her for the last 8 years, has stopped talking to her for 4 weeks now and won't answer the phone when she calls and when mom finally had the opportunity to talk to her husband, he said Mom would need to take it up with her. Mom explained she has called and tried visiting 3 times now to no avail.
Ah Mom.
The whole situation is very sad. My 82 year old Mom-in-law is a very loving lady with a very, very kind heart, which is having its own physical glitches of late and does not need this stress upon it. She has NO idea why Jane has stopped talking to her completely and won't even discuss it with her. I can't imagine mom doing or saying something to have this cause and Mom is hurt, big time.
Oh no worries, I have said everything I know to soothe the pain. Family members have tried to talk to Jane to gain some perspective to no avail. But really, I can't imagine hurting Mom like this for anything.
Especially since Mom has been there for Jane as no one else can.
Mom really took Jane under wing after her mother died. Mom stepped in and let Jane talk to her for hours. She has always been available to listen and take Jane out for lunch to let her have some respite from her daily routine, which can be burdensome. Jane and her husband don't have a lot of spending money and Mom has taken Jane places and done things that she normally wouldn't have been able to do. She has delighted in making special purchases for holidays for Jane and her family and never held back her love and respect for Jane. In other words Mom has adored her as her very own.
Then, like a bad accident, it ended.
This has been the focus of all mom's thoughts this last week and today Mom called and said she thinks it may have to do with something she did with someone else instead of Jane. What!?
If that is the reason, then it is absurd and is being produced by envy.
Envy is a parasite that will creep in and curl its ugliness around one's heart and poison it.
It will rob you of happiness, of finding pleasure, of joy and of a sweet lady who has given more than she has received.
I hope things resolve themselves. "Mom" is lucky to have your there for her.
take care.hb
Mom doesn't feel it right now, but I told her today that Jane will one day wake up and realize what she has lost.
I feel the one blessed to have mom in my life. I can't think of something that would have me eliminate her.
Sad that it has come to this.
Whenever people "leave" with no real explanation or excuse, it's usually saying way more about them than it is about the ones that get left. Your Mom might not ever really know why.
I have had a few people leave my life like that, and after I got over the shock, accepted that I might never know their "real deal", I realized that MY LIFE was better with them GONE!
Some people are in our lives for a reason, for a season and a precious few are here for a lifetime. I thank God for them all!
Huggggggggggggggggggggz to you and your Mom,
Taylor
Gloria
I have at times been on the receiving end of a "friend" that just decides for what ever reason to cut me out of their life. Best thing to do is, try not to worry about it, give it to God, and just know that it is THEIR loss and not hers.
Lord, I pray that you will help Whisper's mother-in-law to be able to come to some resolution in this relationship. Help this other lady be able to share rather than try to hoard this relationship she has. Bring a spirit of forgiveness and peace - in Jesus' name - amen.
June
I believe you are right about the 'seasonal' friends. I don't befriend many any more, but I am cautious and careful who I do befriend and how close I let them get.
Thanks GJ!
I just hope that your mother-in-law and her friend can talk out any differences there might be.
That is so sad Whiskers if your mother's friend lets envy tear apart the relationship. She will realize the value of a good supportive friend and will miss it when she realizes what she lost.
I hope it all works out and they can mend the friendship.
Bear Hugs,
PolarB ;)
God is the only one that can help her get over this large bump. I wish I knew how to take away that pain for her.
And I share that prayer as well.
The problem is there has to be communication from both parties, unfortunately, one is refusing to find common ground. That doesn't make sense to me.
I can't wrap my brain around the thought of not wanting to remain her friend.
If only I had that young wife and the old guy's money, I would be happy.
Too funny!
Though I think it is going to take a while.
There are few things crueler or more short sighted than "the cold shoulder" For your mother-in-laws sake, I hope this doesn't go on too long.
I'm sorry to hear that Mom is having to deal with this. I don't know the whole situation but it does sound like jealousy/envy to me.....and that is a very tragic thing. She won't realize what she has lost until it's too late.
Unfortunately the end does not look in sight but my sister-in-laws and I have picked up any slack time o mom is occupied enough to not concentrate on it until she is able to accept it all.
I wish we could make better sense of it all, but it can't be helped.
Some people cut their nose to spite their face.
Bob H
She was the smartest dog in the world (to me) and will never be replaced
you got a special one there
rember a dog loves you no matter what/ good times /bad time dosent matter
you take care K
"Wise men talk because they have something to say
fools talk because they have to say something."
- Plato
peace out
AJ
We should learn from them.
I got this great book on traing you retriver and man was it good she had that book down by time she was 2 and who would have thought the hardest part was teaching her how to read after that it was a peace of cake and kind of booring
lol
peace out
AJ