Sleepless nights for me are for writing.
These nights are when my thoughts trickle or even jump about making connections I couldn’t or didn’t have time to piece together during the day.
I have this incredible urge to write, sometimes I ignore it because I am tired and the routine of the day has my eyes burning and my mind weary and these are the nights I dream.
My dreams are colored and sometimes they teach me much, sometimes they are fears I have lived through, or realistic fears I try not to concentrate upon and yet are a part of my conscious that I find myself wakened in utter panic, trying to pull in the air my body has refused to take from the dream and deprivation.
I have seen things in my dream that commit themselves in my life at a later date.
Sometimes my dreams are rewarding and enlighten me to solve issues. These are the dreams I interpret during my wake hours, reliving the dreams over and over in my mind, piecing together the notes I jotted down. These dreams have helped me to understand what I truly feel deep inside.
Whatever the reasoning, my dreams are a part of me. I have reoccurring dreams, some as old as I can recall. I have had dreams that have given me such inner peace and resolution and I have had dreams that have helped me make major decisions.
I have not had too much outside interpretation done with my dreams because they are such an internal works for me that I keep them to myself.
My mother and one of my brothers also dream like this. My daughters have inherited this gift, and there has been two dreams that have been shared by myself and my daughter at the same time and when I approached my mother, who was the subject of our dreams, I discovered that my mother was scheduled for a major operation and had yet shared that with us. I am no longer surprised when this happens.
There have been extremely hard times, for instance I dreamt one night that I was weeping for the loss of something tragic, I felt a tremendous loss but did not know why and was literally full of sadness in my heart, the phone rang at 6 am and I knew it was my cousin Brian, he lived a time zone away and I hadn’t heard from him in a year but I instantly knew it was him, and when I talked to him, he had lost his baby boy. Then I knew why my heart was grieving.
I have had times of elation; I knew while I was pregnant, that my last baby was going to have blue eyes for I dreamed often of them. I dreamt an elderly friend of mine came and told me that she loved the name of Sarah for my daughter, it was not the name we had selected for her, that Sunday the exact scenario occurred, I had told her father of my dream so when they watched it unfold in front of us, we definitely felt led to name her Sarah, which was my great gram’s name.
I would feel like a part of me is missing if I stopped dreaming. Most times it is a comfort to me, and even when the dreams are hard or confusing, they give me a gift of emotion. I have dreamed vividly all my life and would never want it to stop.

Mom, my sister-in-law and our children all celebrated Mother’s day together. We decided to go out to a nearby Chinese restaurant. My father and brother-in-law went on a fishing trip, so it was mom, me, my girls and Robyn who has two little ones, a boy and a girl.
My nephew is only 6 and reads above his comprehension. When we sat down at the table my nephew starts reading the place mat. It contained the Chinese zodiac symbols, which specifies your symbol by the year you were born. My nephew did not decipher it in that way, he just reads the descriptions and announces that he is a dragon.
Ashli, my middle daughter asked Robyn what Cody’s birth year was and after discovery tells him that he is a tiger. He again says, “No, I am a dragon.” So Ashli says, “No, Cody, according to your birthday you are a tiger.” He immediately bleats back” Fine! If I am a tiger you’re a boar.” Everyone giggles a bit and tells him to be nice.
He is now obsessed with the symbols and reads them aloud and asks what ones we are. He suddenly reads aloud the cock, he then says, “Who is the cock?” Mom chokes a bit and I can see his mom, (who is not seated next to him mind you because he wanted to be near my girls,) try to get his attention but loses her task.
He follows up with, “Fine! If no one wants to be a cock I will!” This creates us to lose total control of our laughter into our napkins. He furthers our laughter by a quick follow up with,” But I am a little cock.”
By this time my mom, sister-in-law and I cannot even formulate words to stop the madness. He is in total confusion at our laughter and states, “You know a cock is a rooster right, so I would be a little rooster.” Mom and I are literally crying from the laughter and my sister-in-law is the first to recover enough to try to distract him by giving him his fortune cookie.
This excites him and he reads his fortune aloud while we wipe our eyes and regain our composure. Just as everything settles in he asks, “Hey, how long are these lucky numbers good for? Mine has lucky number 7 and I am 6 for another year?”
When we, who are already teetering on the brink of hysteria, laugh once more, he sighs and places his head in the palm of his hands and says “I wish I knew what was so funny.”

The girls and I are headed to PA in the morning to go see mom for Mother's Day.
The bags are packed.
The hamster is fed.
Checking the packing list.
Pajamas
Toothbrush
Sunday outfit
Mother's Day Card and Gift
Extra strength Tylenol
and Benadryl. I hate Benadryl, it makes me tired.
I will be back Sunday afternoon, if I survive. I am sure I will have an interesting post, mom always manages to inspire!
Dad is off on a fishing trip so this will be 3 generations of estrogen Only!
So Happy Mother's Day to all you mommy Bloggers put there!!

Oh I am trying to understand. It is a difficult thing to comprehend. In a few short little bitty weeks my baby girl, my first born, my sweet gal, will graduate highschool and leave the nest.
I am not ready. I KNOW I have to find the strength, I have to be brave and I have to quit sighing everytime I look her way.
She rolls her eyes and tells me it won't be that bad, but it IS that bad. She will be taking her bed and dresser with her and gave her room to her sister. She talks in fast sentences and soft giggles when she referrs to it. She is excited, I am not.
I get told by others that it won't work out, her friends, all four, are moving in together and attending college together.
I am told that she will move back, but I don't believe it for a second.
My baby is brave and strong and a fighter. She has made me proud and she won't fail and I will cope and I will praise her.
But for now, for tonight, I will shed a tear and brief her baby pictures and wish for it all once again.
Where oh where does the time go?


My Sweet Baby Sarah

Matthew surprised me with Jeff Foxworthy tickets!
What a blast! We went Wednesday night and laughed so hard! There was no pressure on what to wear since clothing ranged from jeans and flannels to Beach shorts and surf shirts. What a great crowd of people! It was like attending a family reunion.
I can tell you that listening to Jeff share his stories was like reliving moments from my childhood.
I might be a redneck folks, and I have Jeff to thank for making that a cool thing.

My hubby uploaded one of the shots we got of him to share with you all.