Insomnia is an evil fiend and robs me of my much needed sleep sometimes. I slept not tonight. I don't feel tired yet, but I will drop like lead tonight, I hope.
I always have a hard time adjusting when I travel back to my NY apartment. I think it is the combination of sleeping alone, the excitement of having the girls for two weeks again, and adjusting to the different sounds here. I fear taking a supplement because I am their provider and protection, the parent of the home.
But now it is morning and I am showered, dressed and ready. I will drive the girls to school, head into the office and see my office mates, who I missed as well.
I cannot wait until I can come here and drive the girls back to Maryland the next day, we do that for the summers.
They love Matthew and it is joyous to all be together there. We have a room set up for them that is theirs and the evenings are full of laughter and games, while the days smell of salt air and sunblock, oh we are ocean lovers.
I SO love our summers, it is the only time I get the best of both worlds, my babies and my man.
My life is not easy, quite complex, with the blending of two lives. It is not for the weak hearted, I cry coming and going, but it is what has been divied to me and I will make the very best of it. Sometimes with sacrifices, by having to travel back early to catch one of the girls events, but God has been good and that has been seldom, so that I don't miss out on my time with my hubby much.
I worry about such choices. Loved ones falling ill while I am here with the girls or Matthew working twice as hard because I am gone. It's an odd and hard life, for the girls, for myself and for my hubby. What were the courts thinking? We will not linger there though.
This next time I return to Maryland, we will both return to watch Sarah graduate. (I will cry, I just know it.)
And this two weeks we will celebrate my little ones 12th birthday and yes, I am having a bunch of little girls spend the night and take them to the movies (the disney movie about cars?) and we are experiencing the trials of getting used to new braces.
I love being a mom.
I love being a wife.
Perhaps tomorrow night I shall dream of both. That would be nice.

It’s funny how posts here will coincide with one another. I had this post in mind and had hopped over to POH’s log and seen a related post to mine. That is the charm about this place.

Today is my birthday, and personally, I like birthdays. Age doesn’t bother me, when I hit thirty, I was excited, I told everyone I was finally old enough to be listened to, with something of value to say. It wasn’t that I didn’t have anything to say before, it was just that people give you a soft smile when you shared, because they knew you hadn’t experienced enough in life to have much in a say.

I have just stepped into my forties and I like it here, it’s a pretty good position to be in if you ask me. I feel like I can express myself in my style a bit more. I know my taste in clothes and jewelry so shopping is a punch and run. That is a good thing since I have am not much of a ‘time’ shopper. I have a job that not only do I enjoy, but I feel like it is contributing to humanity and that means a lot to me. I have a great family. A good husband, wonderful girls and my step-daughter and I like each other, that was a challenge that we finally hurdled.

Now, I could probably sit here and catalog a whole list of negatives in my life, and I am sure there are some, and maybe those issues would be huge to some people, to me, they are just bumps in a pretty scenic drive. I debated listing my negatives, but I find that a verse pops up into my head every time. It is this, Corinthians 10:13 “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.” This promise is a powerful principle in my life and one I live strongly by, it was taught to me by my father, and one I pass on to my children. Just knowing that God will not allow anything to come into our lives that we are not capable of withstanding helps me in very trying situations. I know God doesn’t give me bad, he never desires to have us pass through trials, but he gives me the assurance that he is there and he will not let me take more than I can bear. I also know it doesn’t give me superhuman strength, I have no desire to know what I can or can’t bear, it just gives me hope and desire to keep going.

Yesterday, I received a phone call. My dad does many handyman jobs in his town for pay to save up to afford his taxes or pay off hospital bills occurred. I must back up a bit and tell you a bit more of my dad.( I did one post already describing him it is in my archives under the title ‘Thank God for Dad). My dad fell a couple of years ago from a second story while painting. As he was slipping, he seen he was headed for the cement blocking around the base of the house so he pushed himself off from the ladder and leapt backwards. He landed on his feet then crumbled to the ground.
To make a long story short, he laid there a while and analyzed that his back wasn’t broken but his one leg was bent funny, when he got his wind he tried to get up, when he couldn’t do that he waited some more and the home owner found him. This was a friend of my parents. He talked to dad who told the man to call his wife, my mom. When mom arrived, she put plastic down in the car since it was new and he had paint on him. (I know what you are thinking, Where is the ambulance? My parents think that is for people who need them. *shrugs*) She helped dad in the car and drove him to the emergency room where he discoverd he had broken his right leg in three pieces. They were able to save it, but he struggles with it to this day.
Well, now, Yesterday he was mowing for a neighbor. The rider got lodged and in the struggle my dad lost his footing and his left foot ended up underneath the mower. He got out, hobbled to his car and drove to a friend’s house since he is on the ambulance squad, but he wasn’t home, so he drove back into town and went to my sister-in-law’s house, knocked and said “Well, you better call 911.” He then sat on the porch and waited.
He had to have an operation and lost his second toe and had some major lacerations re-pieced but he is doing fine. He spent the night in the hospital due to his heart and the loss of blood. When I called him I said, “Hey dad, How are you?” He said calmly, “The ceiling." then said, "Oh, I can only count to 19 now, but other than that I am doing alright.” And he meant it.
Since this is the second time my dad has ended up on Robyn, my sis in law’s, doorstep in emergency situations, she has said, jokingly of course, “I need a day job!”
It’s not that everything is great. We know the dangers, he is diabetic and will struggle healing for a bit, but it is the attitude he has that I admire. He is grateful. He takes life in stride and we move on.
Attitude is what makes you who you are and how you deal with things. I am glad I have a good example to follow.

NEW NEWS! Our fellow friend and Blogger 'Prisoner Of Hope' is home from the hospital today from a scheduled surgery on a bump on her jaw. It seems everything went well and Connie was snoozing when I called, (as to be expected).
I am asking all the bloggers here for your thoughts and prayers. She is a loving wonderful friend, who is accutely fond of her fellow bloggers.
Lets show her our support by posting a note here to her and I will see to it that she recieves it.
Thanks for your love and support to Connie.
I want to compile all the comments into a card and post it here to her. It would be very thoughtful. Her blog is 'a common housewife in the fast lane' Thanks.
Whispered promise. ( I will add your posts as I receive them.)



Connie Babe,
We wanted you to know what a joy you bring to this communtity and to let you know our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Love, Whispered

All best wishes for a speedy and complete recovery POH!
From Captain Morgan

I will be sure to keep you in my thoughts and prayers today. Please keep us updated. Hope all is well friend! Take care,
From AM (Ash’s Mom)

POH - I tried calling yesterday to reach you, several times, but missed - I even tried several times today to see if I could get an update about you. So I will just say that you have been in my thoughts and prayers and I know that God is holding you in the palm of his hand. Whispering sweet nothings in your ear and I am sure you will use on somebody - somewhere in the future! But for now just take the time to heal and use your strength to lie back and rest so that God can do some of his best "handy" work on you. You never know girlfriend - he obviously wants your attention and has something important to say - so listen while he whispers into your inner most parts and then later you can roar like a lion - when you up and stable again. I love you - even though I don't know you that well - I still love the you that God has placed in my life.

God Bless you Connie - and God bless the family that you have been a blessing too. LookinforLucy –

POH,
I wish you all the best for a speedy recovery. Please get well soon, and I look forward to meeting you and reading your work.

From Bob H (RHolt)

You are in my thoughts and prayers POH, Here’s hoping that you have a speedy recovery My friend, Hope to see you swimming in the Stream very soon.. Blessings and regards .. Scratch

POH:

Connie,

You were in my thoughts today. I hope that all went well with your surgery and that you will return to Blogstream with your usual ebullient self soon. Here is wishing you a speedy recovery.
From Whit

POH,
You're in our thoughts and prayers today. Hope you have a speedy recovery. Your presence was missed on the blogstream today. We need you to be our conscience and to keep us on the straight and narrow.

From Bookworm

POH you are in our thoughts and prayers, I'll ask all my little ones to pray for you, and a quick recovery! Pookie will say a special prayer herself! ((((((((((((((((POH))))))))))))))))))))) miss you here at blogstream.
From Twlightblue43

POH A fast healing and a quick return to us....but do give yourself that extra day and listen to your Dr's we want you back safe...You are in my prayers and I am sending you good thoughts and positive energy...
From Coloconnect

Thoughts of a speedy recovery POH coming your way! hugs Chey
His Queen

POH, A speedy recovery and return to the Stream!
Be Blessed,
PJ (Godseeker)

My dear friend,
I trust that all is well with you. You are in my prayers. May God grant you a speedy recovery.

Shiloh

POH
I pulled my bus over for you to day and lifted your name in a prayer.
I have seen you on my road and I hope that you will soon return.
From Busmanterry

POH -

I hope you are feeling better and that all has gone well. YOu are in my thoughts and prayers. You have helped me sooooo much and anything and everything I can do to help you now will never be repayment enough.

May you be well and smile.

God Speed

R.E. Knowlton III

POH -

I am in prayer for you during this surgery but do not at this time have a word of the Lord for you. All things work together for good to those who are called ... so let us look expectantly for what God is going to do for good through this experience. I believe there is someone you are going to be able to reach because of this. May God be with you and bless you and heal you in his perfect timing.
by Zhyghar's Musings

Connie:

This post by WP made me cry!

Who would think that total strangers would actually care and love each other like we all do here?

You my friend especially.....you know I am praying for you.

You have many good friends here on Blog but especially WP here, she really cares about you.

Love to you both and lots of love and healing my friend!

Love you
Lucy

Hey Con my Hon,
I want you to know that you are in my prayers... but you knew that already. Get better soon!
"You must serve only the LORD your God. If you do, I will bless you with food and water, and I will keep you healthy." Exodus 23:25
"A cheerful look brings joy to the heart; good news makes for good health." Proverbs 15:30
"Kind words are like honey--sweet to the soul and healthy for the body." Proverbs 16:24

"The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death, [a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever." Psalm 23


by musicluver92

Oh Connie my friend and sister in Christ.
You have been such a Blessing of all who have known you here in this community and I am sure in the community where you live. May you now be Blessed as you recover. You are missed. Many prayers and lots of love.
Edna Aka Kozy



PoH,
My thoughts and prayers are with you for a speedy recovery. Get well soon!!

Best Wishes and Lots of Love,
Pilar

Hope,
My thoughts and prayers are with you..(you're missing some good posts over at Whitts place.)...we miss you.

You'll make it, you got guts girl....be strong. keep faith.
River Rat

POH, I hope you are feeling better and that
you will be up and running soon

Sherry

Oh POH aka Connie I wish you a speedy recovery and minimal pain in the meantime and I hope you will soon be well enough to debate with Whit again!! Get well soon!!

by Donuts Are My Life

connie...!!
ur my bestest frend on blogstream kinda lyk a blog mommy..
u've helped me by tellin a lot of things dat r very important for me..thanx a lot..
n i just wanted 2 say dat u a mean a lott 2 me..i noe dis is a stupid comment but all i wanted 2 express was dat how SPECIAL u r 2 each one of us..n ur truely d shining STAR og blogstream..!;)
lotsa love n hugs:
cherry

Hurry and get better, POH...I really enjoyed when you dropped by my blog--so this is just to let you know you are really being missed--

Grandma baba

Get well soon Connie!!!
Daria

Topaz sends her get well wishes too!

Oh get well soon Hope...
Rosie

Connie, know that you are in all the Streamers prayers. Get your smile back soon!!! Take good care of yourself and we'll watch for your return to the Blogstream. ~~~ Gentle Hugs, Rita B

It seems that some of my fellow blogger friends are receiving comments that are unnecessary or are actually painful to read.
That leaves me a little disappointed that some shallow bloggers find it beneficial to say something to hurt another. *addresses these ignorant bloggers* What's your goal? I have no idea what you find you are accomplishing. Does it make your soul feel refreshed by dumping your brain bowels on someone's blog?
Okay, people, there is nothing wrong with disagreeing with someone's blog post, if you feel you have a VALUABLE input on the topic, then sure, feel free to place your voice in this written forum. Do not bash and call mean names of the other, it gains nothing and annoys the poor dog who has to listen to his owner rant after reading it.
Personally, you won't get to me. I am not bragging, I am being serious, see, Pioneer constructed an ejection seat. I love it, although I have of yet had to use it, I know right where it is located. This is called the 'delete this comment' button, followed by the 'block this blogger' button. Wallah! You are ejected and I am waving to you as I cruise high in the sky with the other eagles as you drift downward and land on your bottom end with a thump. Oh and I understand you may believe you were in the right, and that you had a voice, well guess what, think of it this way; A Blog post is like visiting your friend's house, you are welcomes to come in and partake of the home, but once you dirty the place or insult the host, well they now have the ability AND right to send you packing. Comprende?
Now I want to talk to my blogger friends who are the blunt receiver of such a comment. Do not take it to your heart. You are loved by many others and contrary to what you may feel, these people are the minority and remain that way. Their hearts are dried up ole prunes and are only good for constipation.
Do not delete your blog or run into hiding, or turn off your comments from these jerks, because then you gave them a piece of you that was having a good time here. No, instead open the door and boot them out. Feel free to tell us true friends about it so we can be prepared to make them feel as welcomed. If we stick together and let each other know of the predators, we can be on guard with our ‘pioneer hockey sticks’.
This is a world to be enjoyed by people who have thoughts to share, this is a community where we respect the writer for what he or she believes and blogs.
I have friends here that do not agree with everything I say or believe and we sure do toss our thoughts and beliefs back and forth or, if it is beyond us in that aspect, I wait for a new post or drop in and say hello. What a boring world this would be if we all were exactly the same!

I received an email from a friend back in high school. She wanted to know if I am like I was back then. She said she was still much as she had always been, she remained in the small home town and married her high school sweetheart, who is a teacher and she left her secretarial job to be at home with the children, a boy and a girl. She loves gardening and being a full time wife and mom.
It was a delight to hear from her, she was and still is a good genuine person with a bright mind and a wonderful friend.
At that moment, I truly didn't know how I have changed, oh I have, but parts of my internal works are always going to remain the same.
So, I sat down and truly became introspective.
I was always a dreamer; I thought great and mighty things of myself. I have a realistic look on life but I have not given up my dreams. They may have changed a bit in color but they remain true to form. I have worked long and hard to acquire a position in life of self respect and integrity. My dreams are realistic and acquirable, even if other things must be completed before I go onward with them.
I have always dreamed of being married, of having a partner with whom I could trust, love and be devoted to. I always felt there was someone out there who wanted that type of relationship as well, I chose young and unwisely, I depended upon words and not actions. I now have that type of relationship and find it a delight.
I had always trusted everyone. I was completely naive. Now the light is on and I can see in the corners, at times I am still fooled but very seldom. Perhaps this aspect of me is jaded in a sense, but it is not something I want changed, I feel safer with seeing through that lens.
I was always an introvert upon initial meeting but once someone knows me, I do share, but there are parts of me that remain in a journal in my head for no one else. These are the deepest parts of me. The chapters in this bookare events in my life that effected me in deep negative ways. I open the book and work on these issues on my own, there have been times when I have gave a synopsis of the event to someone I thought could help, but that is all. This part of me existed when I was young but sadly has grown since then. I reason part of it to the fact that in my early years I would just keep them locked and stored in memory. I have learned since then to study and glean from them the information that will help me to develop and learn so that I do not fall into situations such as these again, at least not by choice and not by ignorance.
I was not popular in school, although a few of my friends were popular kids. I didn’t want, crave or even desire that crowd. I found in order to get to the top; these kids stepped on each other. (The corporate world ended up being the same; I ejected myself from that in a hurry.) I hate unfair treatment and the underdog was always made fun of in these events. My brothers were highly popular and one of them finds it disconcerting to this day that I chose not to be popular, this humors me. He went so far to ask me a few years ago why I chose to hang with 'nerds'. I grinned and said they knew how to choose a good movie.
I chose a good book over a good party. I still do, I prefer to be home, I do go out with my hubby and I have a good time, but my favorite place in the world is curled up in our home on a cool summers evening, with our Labrador at our feet and my hubby listening and singing to one of his music DVDs. He was a drummer in a band for years and also when he was in the airforce, he claims he has lost his touch by not practicing, but with all the air practice he does, foot pedals included, I bet he could pick up right where he left off.
Have I changed? Yes, of course. But I am still a fun loving, mischievous, family orientated dreamer. *shrugs* You don’t have to like it, but I am quite comfortable under this skin.